THE CAVE MANIFESTO (a.k.a. Posting Guidelines)

I really HATE to post a list of "rules", but the who simply can't resist taking a mile when offered an inch make some general guidelines a necessary evil, unfortunately. So, these are not meant to be taken to a fascist extreme, but here are a few general rules of etiquette:

1a. Keep the profanity to a minimum. We realize (both intellectually and_practically) that sometimes, there's just no other word_ to adequately express a particular emotion, but try to use them sparingly, since overuse tends to project an air of ignorance and can cause The Cave to get blocked by school or workplace filters. Mods will decide what crosses the line. A good rule of thumb would be to avoid overusing the words (and their variations) that appear in George Carlin's "7 Words You Can't Say on Television" bit:



Print version:
http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml

However, creative expletives such as:

shi'ite, sheetcakes, goldenstream, fekk, boobookitty, chuggachoker, mattafakka, baiseur du mères, fathermocker, mammalian protruberances, oreolacookies, frig, friggin', fug, fuggin', arse, fesses, b.u.t.t.ocks, bosstidd, bastid, baptard, cack, deuchebag, doobshaggs, hekkebah, fekkebah, holy shi'ite muslim batman!, wanker, nuttafinga, tralfazz, tunasexperv, duodenum, doink, brassafrakken, modepegoken, dagnabbit, golldurn, dadgumm, KEE-RAPP, kumquat, cheese and rice got dandruff some of it itches, fugly nastards, knut, somnambulist, pain in the AHROOOOGA, YEEEESHKULL, EUCKA THAIT, EUCKA THAIS, ignardley gunk, eebucksaw, numnuts, numskull, BITCHEN, plooking, scroggin', SNAFUBAR, ASOFU, poochmagooch, shasta dinglehopper, fudge jumbles, burka snickety, briggle, ratbag, ZOIKS!, fuggin' chiggin', CRIPES!, Chuck U. Farley, 3FO, puddwakka, pylon, power-tool, smug-assed git, sperm-donor, geinous (a.k.a. ganus, ganus in the anus or GregLooGayness), screw the naysayers, Fukitol, fish-sticks, penus, goofball-numnuts, insufferable prig, big wussy knobsock, ah-DOYNG!, friggin' DUMPTRUCK and all of their variations are not only encouraged, but may actually be required to post here. Use these, and any other fresh and creative expletives liberally, but please avoid tired and overused cliches, unless you are utilizing the supreme gift of satire (see #4a).

or...

1b. Curse as much as you want, if you wish...I don't fuckin' care


2. There is absolutely no speaking of "Christianese" allowed here! And yes, I'm speaking to YOU, Mr. and Mrs. Pretentious Christian! If you are caught posting in this archaic language, your post will be edited by the mods and "translated" at the earliest opportunity! (Some_Christianese and overly euphemised terms are even translated automatically...) If you're going to come to a new country, please at least have the courtesy to learn the language and say what you mean!

3. No posting of sexually explicit images, pornography or images that cross all lines of reason and good taste (i.e. tubgirl, meatspin, goatse and 2 girls-1 cup come to mind...if you've never seen them, trust me, you don't want to). Please refrain from links to said images as well. Violation of this rule is against niceboard.com policy and will result in immediate banning. Again, mods will decide what crosses the line.

*WARNING*

While we here at The Cave do not condone the posting of the above mentioned images, we do believe that images in general tend to spruce up the place, so post away using https://www.ebayphotogallery.com/ or http://photobucket.com/ or http://imageshack.us/ as your free online hosting sites.

That being said, if you do not supply a personal avatar, one will be supplied for you that may or may not represent the best aspects of your online personality or interests. We heartily suggest you choose your own and upload it to your profile.

There is also a post "ranking" system in place consisting of several levels based on the number of posts. Each level contains its own custom title and small avatar to go with it (in addition to your personal avatar), and some levels include special privileges to go along with your accomplishment. So, in order to get the most out of The Cave and the ranking system, POST LIKE A RABID MATTAFAKKA!!!


4a. Please keep conversation civil and respect your fellow posters. Running down of others' opinions and immature behavior such as flaming or name calling will not be tolerated (however, if you are blessed with the gift of satire, by all means feel free to use it ). Also, verbally violent conflicts from real life or other boards are not welcome here. Take it outside (i.e. email or PM's).


4b. Can we please not discuss bowel movements?   (<--- that one may be more of a personal pet peeve of mine than an actual rule)

5. Thread hi-jacking and good, clean in-house spamming are allowed and encouraged, but if you is "from away" don't even think about spammenammin us with your: attentionwhorestupidnewbandmoneymakingstirituppleasevisitmywebsite nonsense until you know us intimately.

6. The Cave is a community that is made up at least partially of laidback Christians (now there's an oxymoron for you! ), but it is not a "Christian board" and you certainly don't have to be a Christian to post here. This is also not a "youth board" and is probably more suitable for folks who are 18 and over, since we make no hardline attempt to whitewash language/behavior/subject matter here to cater to parents concerned with sheltering their kids - not that there's anything wrong with protecting your children, but this place is not "Christian Bookstore approved" and may contain some material that you would object to. Most of us fall at least somewhat into the "renegade" category, having turned our backs on much of the hypocrisy and idiocracy of the American version of Christianity while still maintaining our allegiance to Christ himself. But, no-one here will shove their beliefs down your throat, so please show the same courtesy.

7. The Cave is meant to be a refuge or a sanctuary for those who are tired of the drama of other online message boards, and tired of being beat up by "religious", super-conservative and legalistic Christians (or emotionally held hostage by whining, ultra-liberal "victim" Christians). We do chat up a good deal of music here, however, so if you are a music fan, you have come to the right place.

8. Keeping Rule #7 in mind - a sanctuary is not a place for political or theological/doctrinal debate (we tend to believe that Democrats and Republicans (etc) as well as Calvinists and Arminians (etc) ALL SUCK and will treat all with equal scorn and contempt. Same goes for neo-pseudo-theologians who believe that their interpretations are the BEST and only RIGHT ones). Also, if you are a moral crusader who has come here to push your "anti-secular/Christian only" music/media agenda - allow me to point you to the Cave entrance (also known as the "Cave exit") and invite you to not let the stalagmites impale your rectum on the way out (unless perhaps that is exactly what you need/want).

If creating strife and drama in these ways is your intention, please take it to another board that welcomes that type of discourse. By the same token, if you want to use The Cave as a platform to promote your personal theological, doctrinal, moral or political agenda...don't. Shut yer cakehole and go start your own board (they're FREE) and you can use that board as your platform - just like I did.

In conclusion, all of these "laws" and all of the "profits" derived therein can be summed up in these two commandments:

USE YOUR BRAIN and KEEP YOUR BALANCE!


With much love and irreverence,

- Trog

Are we allowed to say fekk?

How's about nuttafinga!!!???!!!

'fekk' and 'nuttafinga' are actually required to post here.

A-FREAKIN-MEN!!!!

Especially Rule 8

Please re-read the posting guidelines at your leisure. Some parts have been updated/altered.

TrogDawn wrote:

Please re-read the posting guidelines at your leisure. Some parts have been updated/altered.

Ditto and

Well I'm glad I finally took the opportunity to review this thread. The pic of Murdock, BA & Hannibal is too good not to use over, and over, and over, and over...

You like dat, huh?

The video for "7 Dirty Words" by George Carlin has been inserted (<--- suggestive as hell!) into the Manifesto.  Watch at your leisure/pleasure